I think you got a good layout going for your site, though I do hope that you’ll more to it once you figure out everything you want to do with your storybook. I think that the picture on your coverpage, and the picture on your introduction need to be switched. Your introduction is when these boys show up at the hermit’s house and hear his stories, so it would only make sense that your coverpage be these boys’ view of the hermit’s house as they come upon it and then in the introduction we finally see the hermit. If your story were a bit more of a memoir, I think the hermit picture on the coverpage would work, but from what I’ve read so far I think you may consider swapping the pictures. One thing I like about your design is that the colors are all very cohesive. I’ve seen some storybooks where the storybook is an ominous coloring but then there are all these bright, Indian paintings for pictures. I think your storybook is all very cohesive right now and while I’m not sure you did this on purpose, I do hope you keep it up. Non-cohesive storybooks really grind my gears. Otherwise, I think you’ve got a good thing going, and I do like that your title is short, sweet, and to the point.
I like the simplicity of your website’s layout, it relates wonderfully to the simple life sought after and led by hermits. One could imagine how simplistic and seemingly lonesome life would be for hermits living someplace like the Himalayas! Also, the picture you chose for your Introduction page is beautiful! Absolutely gorgeous! I sure wouldn’t mind visiting that location! I really like how you broke your story up into a conversation through dialogue and short descriptions mixed in. It’s a great style that keeps the reader engaged and makes for a more whimsical feel to the story. I also enjoyed your flow and writing style. You really made the old hermit seem wise and mysterious, much like the mountains he resides in. I was enjoying the build so much that the cliff-hanger felt really sudden! It left me hooked and definitely interested in reading on. Do you plan on continuing the storytelling/conversational format for the duration of your storybook postings? If so, I think it would be really interesting, though it could become tedious… maybe that is something you could explore in your continued minor development of the two young boy characters. I really look forward to seeing what musings your wise old hermit has in store for his audience!
I think you have a great start to your storybook and I believe it is going to turn out very well. I like the simplicity of your layout, it ties in nicely with the hermit's theme you are trying to portray. I think you have one of the best introductions that I have read thus far. You have done a great job at drawing in the reader while not giving away too much information about the stories to come. You also managed to keep your intro short enough as to not draw out the unnecessary info that could have been provided. I also like the picture you chose of the house in Switzerland, I think it helps the reader to visualize what the two young boys may have stumbled upon in your story. Your first story is written very well and I like the connections that you imply throughout it. The godlike traits given to your hermit and the subtle hints at his true being were very well placed. Overall I think you have a great project here and I hope to continue to read your work .
Cover Page: First off I love the picture, and my first question is if this man in particular is meaningful to the story or just a picture of a hermit?
Introduction: O this is so good!!! This is so well written and engaging. I was first drawn in by the picture at the top then further enveloped by your marvelous writing. This idea of two weary travelers getting sort of lost then finding a hermit’s inhabitance is parallel to Ramayana. I like that you brought the story into the present time and then bring it back by telling stories.
Rama: I love the continuation of the idea of the threshold between heaven and earth by describing the contradiction in sensations at this hermit’s place. For example in the first sentence you describe how the weather is both cold and warm at the same time. Again another well written story! I love relationship you set up between the hermit and Rama. I want to know what the Hermit is!! You did a great job on the building of suspense for that part of your story. I also want to know more about the two travelers, but I get the feeling that is much less important to the story than the identity of the hermit.
Hey Skyler, Great job with your storybook so far! I enjoyed the coverage photo, I wasn't sure first until the read the description and followed the source. Your layout seems good for the whole idea of what you have in mind. I think highlighting the Mount Kailasa was a great idea! I liked all the pictures you chose in your book so far. I would recommend maybe adding some fun colors or layouts to your page to make me more interesting and appealing for the audience. I enjoyed reading the whole Rama story and that picture is perfect for the whole story and what you are expressing in that specific scene and the overall idea matches perfectly. I liked how you tied the connection between that specific scene and the Hermit. I wasn't quite sure why you chose that specific hermit in your cover page? Maybe you could use an Indian Hermit instead to make it more fun and linked to the story? Overall, I think you have the right idea and your story is very involved and grabs the reader's attention with great story and fun pictures. I would definitely look into adding some color to your storybook website and maybe elaborate why you chose the picture you did for the cover page. I think its great so far! Can't wait to read more stories! Good job!
Skyler, Thank you so much for your comments on my storytelling posts! They've been very beneficial in pointing out things I may not have realized. I appreciate it!
Skyler, Just wanted to say thanks for that comments you have left me thus far in the semester. I think they have always included good tips on ways that I can further improve my writing.
Thank you so much for all of your comments on my blog! I appreciate everything that you've had to say and I think it's awesome that you always relate what I'm writing back to something that has happened to you before. I really feel like it is helping us connect with each other!
Hello again! Okay, so I’m sure I’ve mentioned that I love your choice for more realistic pictures in your storybook, right? Because I do love them, and I think everything works really well with them. That being said, I did not like your picture for your Rama story. It was a cartoon and a total tone flip for me. You could have chosen a picture of empty wine bottles, or of two men talking and laughing, or anything but that one! I think in a children’s storybook the picture would have worked, but not with yours. As for your actual story, I thought it was good but lacking. I felt cut short, like I was about to receive a great story and then it cut short. I definitely think your need to add more about Rama and the wise man’s venture to Shiva since that is the real goal of the story. You could have the wise man and Rama journeying to Shiva and that is when Rama tells the wise man about why he needs forgiveness, but I just think they need to be in action and moving toward a physical goal. If I were the boys listening to the wise man, I would feel sincerely gypped.
Hey Skyler, I just got done reading your storybook: A Hermit’s Tales of the Himalayas and I find it very well done so far. The layout is very nice and clean, the bright color palette you chose makes me think that we are high up in the mountains. Also the image you used in your introduction looks so cool. I wish I lived in house like that. It’s a really clear and colorful picture to establish the setting. Overall your writing throughout your storybook so far is amazing. I love this quote: “You stand in the presence of the intersection of heaven and time, where great nostalgia meets man’s most hopeful dreams.” – Wow that is such a great quote, I love the dialogues for the Hermit. You make him sound and seem incredibly wise and full of many stories. I feel like it was a good choice to go with a story about Rama first. He is a familiar character in this class and reintroducing him first was a good strategy. I cannot wait to hear the other stories about the Hermit’s friends. In the introduction, you do not directly state who the main characters are for next stories but the descriptions you use help make it interesting and overall adds to the character of the Hermit. Keep up the good work!
The title for your storybook is really compelling. It seems like a pretty original take, compared to the other storybooks in this class. Your coverpage seems pretty bare. I would add something to the background, maybe change up the font - I don't know, something.
Wow, I love the picture on your introduction page - so beautiful! And it sets a very hermit-like environment.
I really like your style of writing. I like the dialogue, and you have a good balance of dialogue, action, and description. I also like how you set it up with the frame narrative/storyteller style. I do think you missed a few quotation marks though, toward the end, which got a bit confusing.
I read The Elephant, This was a new story to me. It's really cool that you chose a story that we haven't read in the class yet. Your storytelling style is working really well. It seems like a very laid-back sort of story - you don't try to cram too much info in there, and you take the time to set the scene and develop your characters. I like that. I also like the idea of the hermit telling certain stories in order to give personal advice to the boys. Overall good work!
Hey Skyler! For my third chose for this week’s internet assignment I wanted to read your story. I have already commented on your introduction and your story about Rama, and I remembered them being so good that I wanted to see what happens next. So, I read your story “The Elephant.” Just like the other’s it was soooo good!!! This scene is so realistic and yet mysterious at the same time. I love the idea of the hermit continuing to impart wisdom on the boys. When I read the portion of your story about the elephant I thought of the children’s book “The Giving Tree.” The story of Silava Elephant is extremely similar to the Giving Tree. It makes me wonder if the Giving Tree got its inspiration from this story Silava Elephant. I think it would be cool if it did. The detail in your story about the coffee was great! It made me feel at home, as I were waking up early, sipping on some coffee, watching the sun rise, and talking with a dear friend or family member. Your story brought back good memories for me. This is so good!! Thank you for your beautiful words, and how they made me feel at home!
Hey good morning Skyler! I really enjoyed reading your storybook posts. First I would like to mention how well put together your page is. The font is easy to read and not in some crazy color scheme. The layout is also very astatically pleasing and very neat. I also found the images you used very appropriate. They really drive home a peaceful hermit’s lifestyle. I must say I am a little jealous of the hermit’s house on the side of the Mount Kailash , it looks pretty sweet. All in all I truly like what you have done with the site. After reading the stories you’ve posts thus far, I must say, I am hooked. The introduction does a great job of grabbing the reader’s attention with a carful balance of both adventure and mystery. While reading through the story, one can grasp the slight inclination that something is up but not necessarily in a bad way. As of right now, there seems to be a higher power at work or maybe some reincarnation. For instance all the similarities of the boy’s grandpa and the hermit, plus all the wisdom the hermit has to offer have me leaning towards him being a superior being. I’ll be curious to see how it all turns out. Keep up the good work.
Hey Skyler, I just got done reading through the new addition to your storybook: A Hermit’s Tales of the Himalayas and I really like the direction you are taking your storybook in. In your story "The Elephant" I also agree that it is a good idea to give each of the boys some specific time with the hermit. I feel like it helps the reader get to know the characters a bit better as well. Also, in doing this you can be more specific and overall convey a message or theme much better. I like how you thought out of the box and decided to use a story that has a buddhist foundation. I believe that Buddhism and Hinduism have many similarities and ties and thats why this is appropriate. Your diction is once again very eloquent and there are a lot of very memorable quotes. I have to say you are an extremely skilled writer. The dialogues all flow very well and I don't feel lost or confused when reading your story. I can't wait to read the next addition to your storybook! Once again I say keep up the amazing work because it truly is!
Hi Skyler, I am from the Myth-Folklore class doing the extra credit storybook commenting and I decided to check your storybook out because I was not completely lost reading the name like I was with some of the other storybooks. Anyway, I really liked your introduction, it was easy to follow and clearly set up the rest of your storybook. I really liked how you described things in your stories, several storybooks I've read do a poor job of letting the reader jump into the storybook and yours does a good job of making things easier to visualize. Your choices for pictures also added to your story. You also did a good job of adding more depth to your storyteller, the little descriptions and phrases you have about him or what he says makes him a much more dynamic and round narrator. I like how you write these stories with the overall picture in mind, but as of right now they kind of seem a little disconnected so I'll have to swing back by to finish up reading. The only thing I could really find that needs fixing is your tabs on the side, you've got three links that all say "introduction." Great job!
On first visiting your page I noticed the picture of the bearded man. I think this is a great image to represent what a hermit might look like. I thought your cover page design was very clean and easy to navigate. The all white background has a very clean look. Your cover page is labeled introduction, as is your introduction which was a little confusing.
On visiting your introduction I noticed the image of the house carved into the mountainside. If this is the type of residence a hermit gets, you can sign me up. The house in the image does seem at odds with the one you describe in your introduction though. I think your introduction did a great job of setting up your storybook. I like the idea of a hermit in the mountains telling young children of the things he has seen.
I think your first story did a great job of intertwining your storybook theme with the story from "The Ramayana". Rama is without a doubt the most important character, and featuring him in a story almost seems like a requirement. I too really enjoyed him as a character in the epic, and I think you did a great job composing an original plot that included him.
I picked your StoryBook for my free choice this week. Your title caught my eye and I was curious as to what your stories would possibly be about. When I opened your storybook, the picture of that old man popped up and I was instantly curious. Usually, cover pages have pictures of gods and the epics. It was great to see something original and different. I liked that you picked that picture because now I have some sort of image to put in my head as I continue to read your stories. And that house on the side of the mountain is so cool! I wish I could visit that place. Your pictures made reading your stories so much more fun.
I enjoyed your introduction thoroughly and liked how it led perfectly into the first story. I also enjoyed Rama's character and am glad that you found such a perfect little spot to put Rama in your storybook. I'm glad that the settings of the story and the plot worked out for you. Great job on making that entirely original and being so creative.
After reading your first story, I instantly wished that I could meet this hermit, share a glass of wine with him, and just listen to his stories. Haha. He seems so wise and friendly. You painted a perfect image in my mind. Amazing job so far! Can't wait to read your other stories.
Hi Skyler! My first impression of your cover page was “who is that guy?” then I read the title and thought “this page looks too clean to be hermity.” I’m not very sure what vibe you’re going for (especially since I’m writing as I go through your storybook and haven’t read anything else yet), but right now I’m getting “history book” or “biography” from it. Also, having two pages titled “Introduction” is a bit confusing. The picture of the house you chose is great! The secluded mountainous setting is perfect for a hermit! “You stand in the presence of the intersection” sounds odd. Maybe “you stand at the intersection” instead? In the introduction, you say the stories are about a lion, monkey king, and elephant. Where does Rama fit in? is the Rama story finished? It seemed rather short. Maybe go into more depth about his reasoning for chasing the deer, what happened on the chase, or how he felt after. In your author’s note you talk about a picture of Rama and Sita, but I only see a picture of wine. The second to last sentence in the author’s note for Rama’s story doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, either. I like the implication of if he talked to the elephant at the zoo it might not have been melancholy. It’s awesome that each of the boys is going to get their own bit of wisdom. I really like your concept. Keep up the good work!
Hi Skyler! I really liked your webpage, it was really simple and the blue really caught my eye. The overall color scheme, lay out of the page and also the pictures kind of eluded to the Himalayas so good job on that. Your introduction was really something different. While I was reading I thought it was going to be a story but it turned out to be somewhat of a mystery. It got me thinking and curious to what was going to happen next. After reading the other posts, I have to say that this old man is an interesting one and that you can write very interesting stories. Throughout both the stories I was glued and interested and was wondering what was going to happen next. You also made great use of conversation and made it seem like the old man was talking straight to me and not the two boys. Your grammar was also on point so it was a really smooth read. I could not really think of any other ways to make your page or stories better, I thought they were perfect. Overall I really liked your web page and your idea and I will be back to read more!
I really enjoyed reading through your storybook. I liked the simplicity of the layout; too many color and images can be distracting for some stories. The white and blues of the layout and the images you included invoked a feeling of the Himalayas, which is of course very fitting for your tale. I was a bit confused by the two pages both labeled introduction. Perhaps it would be better to title one of the pages as the "Home" page and the other as the introduction?
On the introduction page, I thought the image of the secluded house high up in the mountains was great. This definitely seems like a place where an old hermit would reside! I really liked your use of dialogue to move the story forward. Seeing the character interactions is much more interesting to me instead of just plainly telling what happened in the story. The technical details of the story seemed great as well; the grammar and spelling throughout the whole story seemed spot on. Overall, great job on the storybook. So far, it seems very mysterious as to what exactly is happening. I can't wait to read more and find out what is going on!
Skyler, this is my first time visiting your storybook and I am surprised I have not read any of it before. I thought your cover page image of the man was really different than what I had seen from other projects because it was of an actual man, not a cartoon or artwork of a man. After reading your introduction, I immediately knew who the man from the cover page was supposed to be from the detail you include about the storytelling man. I like that you have two boys on a trip that stumble upon this place to hear the man's stories, otherwise the man would be talking to himself. It seems really unlikely that the boys would actually stay or even come into a strangers home, if you think about it in reality terms. However, your details about this place with the temperature and the water and the overall atmosphere is what makes it more believable. I read the first story 'Rama' and out of all the stories you could have chosen to tell for Rama to seek purification from, I think the deer slaying is perfect. I thought it was an overall easygoing storybook and very easy to read and get into so great job!
I chose to visit your storybook this week because I saw that you were nominated for Best Written Storybook! The story that I chose to read for this week was A Morning Walk. Let me just begin by saying that I can definitely see why your story was nominated (fun fact: I voted for you) because your story was written so well that I felt like I was there with the hermit and the boys. Your writing style is awesome because it really allows the reader to become immersed in your story and feel connected to the characters. These are my favorite stories to read because I would much rather feel connected to a story that I feel apart of as opposed to being talked at in a story. After reading your story I realized why it sounded so familiar to me. From the Jataka Tales unit I read a story called the Foolhardy Wolf, which has the same plot as the story that you based your writing off of. I remembered that story because I thought that the plot was fascinating the first time that I read it so I was pleased to also read it in your storybook! Great job Skyler!!
Hey skyler, just wanted to say thanks for all the comments throughout the semester. I think they were very helpful and reading your writing has definitely helped to improve mine.
I think you got a good layout going for your site, though I do hope that you’ll more to it once you figure out everything you want to do with your storybook. I think that the picture on your coverpage, and the picture on your introduction need to be switched. Your introduction is when these boys show up at the hermit’s house and hear his stories, so it would only make sense that your coverpage be these boys’ view of the hermit’s house as they come upon it and then in the introduction we finally see the hermit. If your story were a bit more of a memoir, I think the hermit picture on the coverpage would work, but from what I’ve read so far I think you may consider swapping the pictures. One thing I like about your design is that the colors are all very cohesive. I’ve seen some storybooks where the storybook is an ominous coloring but then there are all these bright, Indian paintings for pictures. I think your storybook is all very cohesive right now and while I’m not sure you did this on purpose, I do hope you keep it up. Non-cohesive storybooks really grind my gears. Otherwise, I think you’ve got a good thing going, and I do like that your title is short, sweet, and to the point.
ReplyDeleteI like the simplicity of your website’s layout, it relates wonderfully to the simple life sought after and led by hermits. One could imagine how simplistic and seemingly lonesome life would be for hermits living someplace like the Himalayas! Also, the picture you chose for your Introduction page is beautiful! Absolutely gorgeous! I sure wouldn’t mind visiting that location! I really like how you broke your story up into a conversation through dialogue and short descriptions mixed in. It’s a great style that keeps the reader engaged and makes for a more whimsical feel to the story. I also enjoyed your flow and writing style. You really made the old hermit seem wise and mysterious, much like the mountains he resides in. I was enjoying the build so much that the cliff-hanger felt really sudden! It left me hooked and definitely interested in reading on. Do you plan on continuing the storytelling/conversational format for the duration of your storybook postings? If so, I think it would be really interesting, though it could become tedious… maybe that is something you could explore in your continued minor development of the two young boy characters. I really look forward to seeing what musings your wise old hermit has in store for his audience!
ReplyDeleteI think you have a great start to your storybook and I believe it is going to turn out very well. I like the simplicity of your layout, it ties in nicely with the hermit's theme you are trying to portray. I think you have one of the best introductions that I have read thus far. You have done a great job at drawing in the reader while not giving away too much information about the stories to come. You also managed to keep your intro short enough as to not draw out the unnecessary info that could have been provided. I also like the picture you chose of the house in Switzerland, I think it helps the reader to visualize what the two young boys may have stumbled upon in your story. Your first story is written very well and I like the connections that you imply throughout it. The godlike traits given to your hermit and the subtle hints at his true being were very well placed. Overall I think you have a great project here and I hope to continue to read your work .
ReplyDeleteCover Page: First off I love the picture, and my first question is if this man in particular is meaningful to the story or just a picture of a hermit?
ReplyDeleteIntroduction: O this is so good!!! This is so well written and engaging. I was first drawn in by the picture at the top then further enveloped by your marvelous writing. This idea of two weary travelers getting sort of lost then finding a hermit’s inhabitance is parallel to Ramayana. I like that you brought the story into the present time and then bring it back by telling stories.
Rama: I love the continuation of the idea of the threshold between heaven and earth by describing the contradiction in sensations at this hermit’s place. For example in the first sentence you describe how the weather is both cold and warm at the same time. Again another well written story! I love relationship you set up between the hermit and Rama. I want to know what the Hermit is!! You did a great job on the building of suspense for that part of your story. I also want to know more about the two travelers, but I get the feeling that is much less important to the story than the identity of the hermit.
Hey Skyler, Great job with your storybook so far! I enjoyed the coverage photo, I wasn't sure first until the read the description and followed the source. Your layout seems good for the whole idea of what you have in mind. I think highlighting the Mount Kailasa was a great idea! I liked all the pictures you chose in your book so far. I would recommend maybe adding some fun colors or layouts to your page to make me more interesting and appealing for the audience. I enjoyed reading the whole Rama story and that picture is perfect for the whole story and what you are expressing in that specific scene and the overall idea matches perfectly. I liked how you tied the connection between that specific scene and the Hermit. I wasn't quite sure why you chose that specific hermit in your cover page? Maybe you could use an Indian Hermit instead to make it more fun and linked to the story? Overall, I think you have the right idea and your story is very involved and grabs the reader's attention with great story and fun pictures. I would definitely look into adding some color to your storybook website and maybe elaborate why you chose the picture you did for the cover page. I think its great so far! Can't wait to read more stories! Good job!
ReplyDeleteSkyler,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comments on my storytelling posts! They've been very beneficial in pointing out things I may not have realized. I appreciate it!
Skyler,
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say thanks for that comments you have left me thus far in the semester. I think they have always included good tips on ways that I can further improve my writing.
Thank you so much for all of your comments on my blog! I appreciate everything that you've had to say and I think it's awesome that you always relate what I'm writing back to something that has happened to you before. I really feel like it is helping us connect with each other!
ReplyDeleteHello again! Okay, so I’m sure I’ve mentioned that I love your choice for more realistic pictures in your storybook, right? Because I do love them, and I think everything works really well with them. That being said, I did not like your picture for your Rama story. It was a cartoon and a total tone flip for me. You could have chosen a picture of empty wine bottles, or of two men talking and laughing, or anything but that one! I think in a children’s storybook the picture would have worked, but not with yours. As for your actual story, I thought it was good but lacking. I felt cut short, like I was about to receive a great story and then it cut short. I definitely think your need to add more about Rama and the wise man’s venture to Shiva since that is the real goal of the story. You could have the wise man and Rama journeying to Shiva and that is when Rama tells the wise man about why he needs forgiveness, but I just think they need to be in action and moving toward a physical goal. If I were the boys listening to the wise man, I would feel sincerely gypped.
ReplyDeleteHey Skyler, I just got done reading your storybook: A Hermit’s Tales of the Himalayas and I find it very well done so far. The layout is very nice and clean, the bright color palette you chose makes me think that we are high up in the mountains. Also the image you used in your introduction looks so cool. I wish I lived in house like that. It’s a really clear and colorful picture to establish the setting. Overall your writing throughout your storybook so far is amazing. I love this quote: “You stand in the presence of the intersection of heaven and time, where great nostalgia meets man’s most hopeful dreams.” – Wow that is such a great quote, I love the dialogues for the Hermit. You make him sound and seem incredibly wise and full of many stories. I feel like it was a good choice to go with a story about Rama first. He is a familiar character in this class and reintroducing him first was a good strategy. I cannot wait to hear the other stories about the Hermit’s friends. In the introduction, you do not directly state who the main characters are for next stories but the descriptions you use help make it interesting and overall adds to the character of the Hermit. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteThe title for your storybook is really compelling. It seems like a pretty original take, compared to the other storybooks in this class. Your coverpage seems pretty bare. I would add something to the background, maybe change up the font - I don't know, something.
ReplyDeleteWow, I love the picture on your introduction page - so beautiful! And it sets a very hermit-like environment.
I really like your style of writing. I like the dialogue, and you have a good balance of dialogue, action, and description. I also like how you set it up with the frame narrative/storyteller style. I do think you missed a few quotation marks though, toward the end, which got a bit confusing.
I read The Elephant, This was a new story to me. It's really cool that you chose a story that we haven't read in the class yet. Your storytelling style is working really well. It seems like a very laid-back sort of story - you don't try to cram too much info in there, and you take the time to set the scene and develop your characters. I like that. I also like the idea of the hermit telling certain stories in order to give personal advice to the boys. Overall good work!
Hey Skyler! For my third chose for this week’s internet assignment I wanted to read your story. I have already commented on your introduction and your story about Rama, and I remembered them being so good that I wanted to see what happens next. So, I read your story “The Elephant.” Just like the other’s it was soooo good!!! This scene is so realistic and yet mysterious at the same time. I love the idea of the hermit continuing to impart wisdom on the boys. When I read the portion of your story about the elephant I thought of the children’s book “The Giving Tree.” The story of Silava Elephant is extremely similar to the Giving Tree. It makes me wonder if the Giving Tree got its inspiration from this story Silava Elephant. I think it would be cool if it did. The detail in your story about the coffee was great! It made me feel at home, as I were waking up early, sipping on some coffee, watching the sun rise, and talking with a dear friend or family member. Your story brought back good memories for me. This is so good!! Thank you for your beautiful words, and how they made me feel at home!
ReplyDeleteHey good morning Skyler! I really enjoyed reading your storybook posts. First I would like to mention how well put together your page is. The font is easy to read and not in some crazy color scheme. The layout is also very astatically pleasing and very neat. I also found the images you used very appropriate. They really drive home a peaceful hermit’s lifestyle. I must say I am a little jealous of the hermit’s house on the side of the Mount Kailash , it looks pretty sweet. All in all I truly like what you have done with the site. After reading the stories you’ve posts thus far, I must say, I am hooked. The introduction does a great job of grabbing the reader’s attention with a carful balance of both adventure and mystery. While reading through the story, one can grasp the slight inclination that something is up but not necessarily in a bad way. As of right now, there seems to be a higher power at work or maybe some reincarnation. For instance all the similarities of the boy’s grandpa and the hermit, plus all the wisdom the hermit has to offer have me leaning towards him being a superior being. I’ll be curious to see how it all turns out. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHey Skyler, I just got done reading through the new addition to your storybook: A Hermit’s Tales of the Himalayas and I really like the direction you are taking your storybook in. In your story "The Elephant" I also agree that it is a good idea to give each of the boys some specific time with the hermit. I feel like it helps the reader get to know the characters a bit better as well. Also, in doing this you can be more specific and overall convey a message or theme much better. I like how you thought out of the box and decided to use a story that has a buddhist foundation. I believe that Buddhism and Hinduism have many similarities and ties and thats why this is appropriate. Your diction is once again very eloquent and there are a lot of very memorable quotes. I have to say you are an extremely skilled writer. The dialogues all flow very well and I don't feel lost or confused when reading your story. I can't wait to read the next addition to your storybook! Once again I say keep up the amazing work because it truly is!
ReplyDeleteHi Skyler,
ReplyDeleteI am from the Myth-Folklore class doing the extra credit storybook commenting and I decided to check your storybook out because I was not completely lost reading the name like I was with some of the other storybooks. Anyway, I really liked your introduction, it was easy to follow and clearly set up the rest of your storybook. I really liked how you described things in your stories, several storybooks I've read do a poor job of letting the reader jump into the storybook and yours does a good job of making things easier to visualize. Your choices for pictures also added to your story. You also did a good job of adding more depth to your storyteller, the little descriptions and phrases you have about him or what he says makes him a much more dynamic and round narrator. I like how you write these stories with the overall picture in mind, but as of right now they kind of seem a little disconnected so I'll have to swing back by to finish up reading. The only thing I could really find that needs fixing is your tabs on the side, you've got three links that all say "introduction." Great job!
On first visiting your page I noticed the picture of the bearded man. I think this is a great image to represent what a hermit might look like. I thought your cover page design was very clean and easy to navigate. The all white background has a very clean look. Your cover page is labeled introduction, as is your introduction which was a little confusing.
ReplyDeleteOn visiting your introduction I noticed the image of the house carved into the mountainside. If this is the type of residence a hermit gets, you can sign me up. The house in the image does seem at odds with the one you describe in your introduction though. I think your introduction did a great job of setting up your storybook. I like the idea of a hermit in the mountains telling young children of the things he has seen.
I think your first story did a great job of intertwining your storybook theme with the story from "The Ramayana". Rama is without a doubt the most important character, and featuring him in a story almost seems like a requirement. I too really enjoyed him as a character in the epic, and I think you did a great job composing an original plot that included him.
Hi Skyler,
ReplyDeleteI picked your StoryBook for my free choice this week. Your title caught my eye and I was curious as to what your stories would possibly be about. When I opened your storybook, the picture of that old man popped up and I was instantly curious. Usually, cover pages have pictures of gods and the epics. It was great to see something original and different. I liked that you picked that picture because now I have some sort of image to put in my head as I continue to read your stories. And that house on the side of the mountain is so cool! I wish I could visit that place. Your pictures made reading your stories so much more fun.
I enjoyed your introduction thoroughly and liked how it led perfectly into the first story. I also enjoyed Rama's character and am glad that you found such a perfect little spot to put Rama in your storybook. I'm glad that the settings of the story and the plot worked out for you. Great job on making that entirely original and being so creative.
After reading your first story, I instantly wished that I could meet this hermit, share a glass of wine with him, and just listen to his stories. Haha. He seems so wise and friendly. You painted a perfect image in my mind. Amazing job so far! Can't wait to read your other stories.
Hi Skyler! My first impression of your cover page was “who is that guy?” then I read the title and thought “this page looks too clean to be hermity.” I’m not very sure what vibe you’re going for (especially since I’m writing as I go through your storybook and haven’t read anything else yet), but right now I’m getting “history book” or “biography” from it. Also, having two pages titled “Introduction” is a bit confusing. The picture of the house you chose is great! The secluded mountainous setting is perfect for a hermit! “You stand in the presence of the intersection” sounds odd. Maybe “you stand at the intersection” instead? In the introduction, you say the stories are about a lion, monkey king, and elephant. Where does Rama fit in? is the Rama story finished? It seemed rather short. Maybe go into more depth about his reasoning for chasing the deer, what happened on the chase, or how he felt after. In your author’s note you talk about a picture of Rama and Sita, but I only see a picture of wine. The second to last sentence in the author’s note for Rama’s story doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, either. I like the implication of if he talked to the elephant at the zoo it might not have been melancholy. It’s awesome that each of the boys is going to get their own bit of wisdom. I really like your concept. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Skyler! I really liked your webpage, it was really simple and the blue really caught my eye. The overall color scheme, lay out of the page and also the pictures kind of eluded to the Himalayas so good job on that. Your introduction was really something different. While I was reading I thought it was going to be a story but it turned out to be somewhat of a mystery. It got me thinking and curious to what was going to happen next. After reading the other posts, I have to say that this old man is an interesting one and that you can write very interesting stories. Throughout both the stories I was glued and interested and was wondering what was going to happen next. You also made great use of conversation and made it seem like the old man was talking straight to me and not the two boys. Your grammar was also on point so it was a really smooth read. I could not really think of any other ways to make your page or stories better, I thought they were perfect. Overall I really liked your web page and your idea and I will be back to read more!
ReplyDeleteHey Skyler!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading through your storybook. I liked the simplicity of the layout; too many color and images can be distracting for some stories. The white and blues of the layout and the images you included invoked a feeling of the Himalayas, which is of course very fitting for your tale. I was a bit confused by the two pages both labeled introduction. Perhaps it would be better to title one of the pages as the "Home" page and the other as the introduction?
On the introduction page, I thought the image of the secluded house high up in the mountains was great. This definitely seems like a place where an old hermit would reside! I really liked your use of dialogue to move the story forward. Seeing the character interactions is much more interesting to me instead of just plainly telling what happened in the story. The technical details of the story seemed great as well; the grammar and spelling throughout the whole story seemed spot on. Overall, great job on the storybook. So far, it seems very mysterious as to what exactly is happening. I can't wait to read more and find out what is going on!
Skyler, this is my first time visiting your storybook and I am surprised I have not read any of it before. I thought your cover page image of the man was really different than what I had seen from other projects because it was of an actual man, not a cartoon or artwork of a man. After reading your introduction, I immediately knew who the man from the cover page was supposed to be from the detail you include about the storytelling man. I like that you have two boys on a trip that stumble upon this place to hear the man's stories, otherwise the man would be talking to himself. It seems really unlikely that the boys would actually stay or even come into a strangers home, if you think about it in reality terms. However, your details about this place with the temperature and the water and the overall atmosphere is what makes it more believable. I read the first story 'Rama' and out of all the stories you could have chosen to tell for Rama to seek purification from, I think the deer slaying is perfect. I thought it was an overall easygoing storybook and very easy to read and get into so great job!
ReplyDeleteI chose to visit your storybook this week because I saw that you were nominated for Best Written Storybook! The story that I chose to read for this week was A Morning Walk. Let me just begin by saying that I can definitely see why your story was nominated (fun fact: I voted for you) because your story was written so well that I felt like I was there with the hermit and the boys.
ReplyDeleteYour writing style is awesome because it really allows the reader to become immersed in your story and feel connected to the characters. These are my favorite stories to read because I would much rather feel connected to a story that I feel apart of as opposed to being talked at in a story.
After reading your story I realized why it sounded so familiar to me. From the Jataka Tales unit I read a story called the Foolhardy Wolf, which has the same plot as the story that you based your writing off of. I remembered that story because I thought that the plot was fascinating the first time that I read it so I was pleased to also read it in your storybook! Great job Skyler!!
Thanks for your kind words, Rachel! I actually voted for yours as well - I was a big fan (as you probably know from my comments). Thanks again!
DeleteHey skyler, just wanted to say thanks for all the comments throughout the semester. I think they were very helpful and reading your writing has definitely helped to improve mine.
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